Saturday, August 22, 2015

The Amazing Astral Amputee

The Man With No Legs Who Could Walk!
Doc-No-LegsFriday morning we got a call from Zack Powers, our bionic boy wonder, about something his Grandma, a nurse, had witnessed down at Woodland Springs General Hospital. Not long after that our friend Sheriff Blake Maverick called on the same subject. It seems the victim of a construction site accident had been in a coma for quite some time, and had awoken. Before he could be informed that both his legs had been amputated he proceeded to get out of bed, and walk about the room angrily asking where the hell his clothes were.  His wife, three kids, the Doctor, and Zack’s Grandmother Debbie Powers looked on in utter shock as he appeared to levitate around the room with the exact movement of walking.  The Doctor finally yelled,”My God man just look at your legs! Just look at them!”  He looked down, and had a dumbfounded look on his face before fainting. Everyone came to his aid but he awoke again, and became quite hysterical. He screamed,”What the hell man! I can feel my legs, and feet still!”  The Doctor motioned for Debbie to get a sedative as he felt the area where his legs should be.  The Doctor had a look of awe on his face,”Sweet Mother of God I can feel your legs!” Then the mans youngest son squealed with glee,”Do it again Daddy! Float around the room like a ghost!”  Suddenly he calmed down, and arose once again just as he had before.  He stood at virtually the same height as if he had legs, and he pranced about the room now smiling.  He declared,”It’s a miracle!”  His kids cheered, and his wife had tears of joy in her eyes yet at the same time there was some concern over this supernatural event.

Mystical Chakra Healing BraceletThe Doctor had called the police first to report this amazing incident but as usual they laugh at any paranormal calls. Then he called the Sheriff who knows about the real world of the supernatural.  When I arrived with the rest of the Mystic Investigations team our friend, and holy water supplier Father Tom Davis was there with some of his parishioners praising the holy lord for this miracle. Unfortunately the Doctor had also called the local media who were on the way.  We knew this could be a potential Supernatural Secrecy Pact violation but really we feared the man would be whisked away by US Paranormal Defense Agency officers for study as a supernatural lab rat!  Sheriff Maverick was there as well, and I discussed how we had to quickly contain this before the mans life was ruined forever. I also explained to Father Tom what the situation was, and that unfortunately we could not pronounce this a miracle to the world!  He agreed, and we immediately began to clean up this metaphysical mess.

The Sheriff got rid of the media, and said the Doctor who reported the incident was a victim of a hallucinatory laughing gas leak perpetuated by an anonymous prankster.  Our vampire Drake Alexander hypnotized the Doctor to forget what was witnessed.  In addition Zack thought Debbie should forget as well since she’s never been able to handle the real world of the supernatural. We also made sure any hospital staff who saw this were immediately compelled as well. Father Tom’s loyal parishioners had witnessed so called miracles in our paranormal laden town before, and knew to keep their mouth shut if Fthe Father requested it. In addition the mans kids were hypnotized as well since it was impossible for them to keep a secret.  Zack being a computer wizard was able to subvert any smart phone video shot as well.

The Doctor quickly got the man some prosthetic legs, and we were in the room alone withhim and his wife.  Rebecca Abernathy, our witch, Julia Hathaway, our psychic, Ashley Abercrombie, our cryptozoologist, and Rob Edmunds, our ghostbuster examined the man to determine what was going on here.  They all came to the conclusion that for reasons unknown the mans metaphysical astral energy body, aka lowest dimensional level human soul, manifested into our reality in place of his missing physical legs.  Further testing would have to be done to determine the cause of this but it was plausibly a latent psychokinetic astral projection power that was exposed upon the extraction of his limbs.  In other words even if his entire body was disintegrated he would still be able to physically interact with our reality like a powerful ghost.  We informed him that in all likelihood he was immortal, and virtually invincible!  What was missing was the visibility of the astral limbs.  Drake, and Julia psychically interfaced with his mind while Rebecca worked on a spell.  We had little time before the Men In Black of the Paranormal Defense Agency arrived.

We were attempting to direct the astral energy into physical energy strings that would burst into reality as photons, aka light energy.  Then concentrate, and stabilize it around his astral form to create visible legs.  We realized this would take a long time to master as our Ex-Navy Seal Hunter Jackson informed us that two PDA agents just pulled up in a black sedan.  Rebecca immediately initiated a glamouring spell to make the mans legs appear normal.  With the Doctor, and Zack’s help we quickly changed the mans records to erase all evidence of an amputation procedure.  All of us then vanished hiding nearby so as not alert the agents there was something supernatural afoot.  The sun glass wearing agents entered the hospital room, and questioned the man.  They spent some time examining his legs,and left the room after only ten minutes.  Although they spent another twenty minutes questioning hospital staff. Once they got back in their car we hacked into their radio frequency, and they reported back to headquarters that there was possible vampire hypnosis being performed in the hospital.  Luckily they assumed it was just a vampire stealing blood bags, and live from patients as well.

Astral Project Now!We will begin working with the man at our headquarters next week to find out what exactly his astral powers are, and how to use them. We’ll also train him to make his legs into more or less solid holograms so he doesn’t have to rely on Rebecca’s magic. Although a simple pair of pants, socks, and shoes should work in public most of the time.  He’ll still age like a normal human but when his body dies someone will have to be in the morgue to clean up the mess as his astral body rips out of his physical body.  Probably would be better to simply keel over at home!  Also since his astral body is physically active it would take over when his biological grows weak with old age.  For instance if his arm was so thin, and frail he could barely lift it then the astral arm would probably take over to lift it with ease.  The man did tell us of a time he broke his arm as a young child, and the doctor was surprised he was somehow able to move it with little pain before the cast went on. He has also always had vivid dreams where he appears to be flying over, and into real places in our town. In fact Rebecca said he described the women’s locker room down at the gym perfectly. LOL! So whatever his astral powers he was most likely born with them.  Another issue is the fact that his legs could run at insane speeds that could possibly defy the laws of physics.  In other words he could run faster than light back in time to the past.  However the rest of his physical body would be ripped away, and there’s no telling where he’d end up!

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